Open Letter: To The Resilient Voucher Holders From The Gorgeous Giver

'Di lahat ng gift na binigay sa'yo... 

Hi, Betchesss.

To start... I must say that I am seriously (like my terror of a high school math teacher serious--- ganung lebels talaga) considering this voucher-Christmas thingy of mine to be an annual sort-of-a tradition... It's either this is looking promising every year (aminin... lebel ap talaga ang voucher ketch this time) or I am kinda lazy of looking and thinking (mostly thinking) for gifts for my so-called friends... I am still not decided yet so don't let your hopes up for now... <insert virginal laugh here>

Anyways, just as stated in the voucher I gave last December 2013 to a selected few... This will be the post that you can comment for your reservation... I am still having my yearly vacation induced laziness so I won't be posting the details anytime soon... I will just approved your reservations according to my mood swings... <insert non-virginal laugh here>

Later,
Gorgeous... (bawal kumontra... ang kumontra papakainin ko ng kwitis)

PS: Please feed my fishes below... thanks... XOXO

Ay para sa'yo... baka wala lang silang choice

Open Letter: To My Manito From Your Secret Santa

Wala ka nang Manito this Christmas...

Dear Manito Jance Baby...

(Jance gd ya... dalahig ang buong angkan nyu sa Old Town "Daangbanwa", Victory Liner City)

To start... (syempre... ma greet ko anay.. ehem ehem....) Imagine me shouting this at the top my high-pitched angelic voice... "Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year"...

I know for a fact that you are at your  most comfortable place in your life ... Yet... I mean... to enumerate... 

• Financially... you are exponentially blessed... (perme ka man gapang libre... so may ganar man kami... Starbucks later???)
• Hitching in and out of Singapore and strutting your stuff in marked places in our motherland... hmmmm... I can say you can pass as a semi jet-setter... (lave all the luscious chocolates and well-thought pasalubongs nga ginatigana nyu only for me... knowing I will almost always ask for one or two)
• With the matters of the heart... I am so glad you came to your senses at the right time and at the exact moment... Please take care of our very good friend and don't waste the second chance that the universe had aligned for you and Roj... (basta ang naisturyahan ta nga ako ang wedding singer nyu sa kasal...and between you and me... kung gusto mo na mag propose and need brilliant ideas you know who to call...<wink>)
• And Physically.... you know what?... lets just scratch that and move on... (wahahahahaha... amu lng na... wahahahaha)

Kaya naman... If I am a genie in a bottle (a very gorgeous one if I may add) and if I could wish something for you.... sex-fucked-ABS na lng para bongga... (Asa pa ta noh... lol)

Well to close... cliche as it may sound... I would like to thank you for the love-hate friendship that we have... (Salamat nga di ka syado pikon sa mga hirit ko kag sa pag defend mo sa akon kay Sir Crisostomo kay gn wrongan ya ang tsakto ko nga answer sa Differential Equation... tyagan ya guru ikaw lng ang alam... La sa kabalo nga kung lapit lang ang Guimbala-on sa TUPV... tumba gd kamu ni Faith sa dungan ko...)

Your Secret Santa Baby,

Jeff

PS: As of this writing, mangita pa lang ko sang token nga ihatag ko sa imo... in the event that nga wala ko makita... I hope this letter is more than enough... <kuripot mode>

Manita na sya ngayun...

Open Letter: To Joey Javier Reyes From An Emotionally-Disturbed MovieGoer

"Ang Batang Masipag..."

Dear, Mars Joey... (wow... feeling close agad agad)

To be straight... you owe me one big-ass of an ending... uhuh... I mean a really, really big one... like something that could suffice the hunger for closure to all the Long Distance Relationships na di nag work... (Binitin mo kasi ako ng bonggang-bongga)

If you don't get what I am saying (at well, dahil mabait ako at feel kong chumika ng mahaba haba today), here is a not-so-little background...

To start... SALE sa MOA nung last weekend... and mainly because my younger brother and I are helluva pseudo Sale-Hunters (in short kuripot... kung hindi naka-Sale ay hindi bibili)... we kinda jumped to the oppurtunity... duh...

The SALE itself was very disappointing and underwhelming... and mega-overrated... (sabi may 70% off... napagod lang ang hind legs ko sa kakaikot sa MOA... wala akong nakitang 70% off... kahit 69% wala...)... haist... kaya we decided to look for a movie to slay our time... (did I mention that I am meeting my college friends for a vocal lesson that night???... kaya we have more or less 5 hours to kill). And, we were quite surprised na puro indie films ang showing at P100 lang... And since, we our proud of our heritage and locality... we chose Sonata by Peque Gallaga (Ilonggo po kasi kami... from the Paris of Negros---Silay City)...

<Mars Joey, hold on ka lang dyan ha... medyo mahaba haba pa to..>

Sonata was relatively great and generally entertaining... (medyu disappointing lang ang acting ni Inday Cora, kailangan pa nyang mag acting lesson...Wahahahaha)... Cherie Gil was the bright spot of the whole film and the cinematography is superb...

<Mars, pagnakasalubong mo si Tiyo Peq2x (nickname niya) sa isang pa-event nyu sa club, paki slow clap at sabay sabi ng "BRAVO"... from his fave nephew kamo...>

(Guys, just watch the trailer below... Walang give away sa twist sa ending... though half-way through the film I sorta feel na it was coming...)


Fast-Forward... the next day... Monday... First working day of the week... Monday syndrome... gets???

I was feeling bored, intellectually exhausted and particularly lazy... when I decided to check the trailers of the other Indie Films that are still showing in MOA... and this particular movie trailer got my attention... it was very moving, relatable and indulging... (minsan talaga random words na lang ang pang describe ko... basa tunog maganda ok na...)... it is entiled: "Ano Ang Kulay Ng Mga Nakalimutang Pangarap???"

(oh di ba... title pa lang titillating na... pa mystserious... lol... basta watch nyu ang trailer... wait lang ... i-pa-paste ko)


To make the long story short, I ended up convincing my younger brother to watch the film with me...
<Idol kasi kita Mars... love na love ko ang KKK at SSS... char>...
<at eto na ang point ng sulat na toh... malalaman mo na rin sa wakas  kung ano ang utang mo sa akin... P* ka, bullet ko na lang para madali mong maintindihan, not that I am questioning your comprehension or anything at in tag-lish para mas espressive>

• S**t... alam ko color-blind ako pero ano yung kulay dun? Black and White ba??? 'di naman kasi explicitly sinabi... or given na at di ko lang na gets... nahiya naman kasi ako magtanong sa bebenteng tao kasama namin sa loob ng sinehan... baka ma-conclude nila na booboo ako... yung kapatid ko din kasi is colorblind... paki-sagot na lng po sa twitter ko... @itsstilljeffrey... gamit mo n lng tong hashtag para di ma lost in translation----> #YayaTereFTW

• P*c*... Anu yun??? Bitin ang ending??? Ganunan na lang ba??? Panoo pala kung may OCD ako at nagka-anxiety attack kapag 'di nagkakaroon ng closure... eh di nangisay ako sa sinehan... wala pa naman kaming baon na kutsara... 

• Anyare kay Yaya Tere??? Natigok? Naligaw? Na-Amnesia Girl? Hinanap ba siya o kinalimutan na? ODK... na bother talaga ako... makatingin naman kasi si Yaya sa last sequence sa may bus station, parang ako ang nakonsensya... patulo na ang luha ko eh... mga isang kembot na lang... mag bre-breakdown na ako tapos... black screen na... Wagas... Kaya Mars, update mo naman.ako... tell mo sa akin ang anyare... kung may video or power point presentation mas ok... para may visual impact...

• After Effect... Mars, di ako makatulog sa movie mo, mga two nights na... na damage na ata ako permanently... kelangan ko ng magpa-quack doctor... pero in SM Fairview sa'yo at sa buong cast and crew mo ha... maganda ang production... subtle lang si Yaya Tere pero effective, maka-emote naman kasi sa mga memory nya ay wagas... (oh well, di naman kasi ako acclaimed film critic so ''di naman weighted talaga ang mga sinasabi ko)... nakakalungkot lang talaga ang character... very giving at selfless... For sure, kung true story to, MMK ito at tatabo sa ratings... pero baka iba na ang title... hula ko baka "Baul" o "Ensaymada" or something like that... lol...

Hay... Mars... Since the movie was great and it hit something inside my core... "quits na tayu"...(wala ka ng balance...) Just keep on making Great movies like this... (para ''di laging masyadong commercial at mainstream...)

not-so-sure-if-I-am-a-fan

Jeff

"Paglaki... PAGOD"