Open Letter: To My Manito From Your Secret Santa

Wala ka nang Manito this Christmas...

Dear Manito Jance Baby...

(Jance gd ya... dalahig ang buong angkan nyu sa Old Town "Daangbanwa", Victory Liner City)

To start... (syempre... ma greet ko anay.. ehem ehem....) Imagine me shouting this at the top my high-pitched angelic voice... "Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year"...

I know for a fact that you are at your  most comfortable place in your life ... Yet... I mean... to enumerate... 

• Financially... you are exponentially blessed... (perme ka man gapang libre... so may ganar man kami... Starbucks later???)
• Hitching in and out of Singapore and strutting your stuff in marked places in our motherland... hmmmm... I can say you can pass as a semi jet-setter... (lave all the luscious chocolates and well-thought pasalubongs nga ginatigana nyu only for me... knowing I will almost always ask for one or two)
• With the matters of the heart... I am so glad you came to your senses at the right time and at the exact moment... Please take care of our very good friend and don't waste the second chance that the universe had aligned for you and Roj... (basta ang naisturyahan ta nga ako ang wedding singer nyu sa kasal...and between you and me... kung gusto mo na mag propose and need brilliant ideas you know who to call...<wink>)
• And Physically.... you know what?... lets just scratch that and move on... (wahahahahaha... amu lng na... wahahahaha)

Kaya naman... If I am a genie in a bottle (a very gorgeous one if I may add) and if I could wish something for you.... sex-fucked-ABS na lng para bongga... (Asa pa ta noh... lol)

Well to close... cliche as it may sound... I would like to thank you for the love-hate friendship that we have... (Salamat nga di ka syado pikon sa mga hirit ko kag sa pag defend mo sa akon kay Sir Crisostomo kay gn wrongan ya ang tsakto ko nga answer sa Differential Equation... tyagan ya guru ikaw lng ang alam... La sa kabalo nga kung lapit lang ang Guimbala-on sa TUPV... tumba gd kamu ni Faith sa dungan ko...)

Your Secret Santa Baby,

Jeff

PS: As of this writing, mangita pa lang ko sang token nga ihatag ko sa imo... in the event that nga wala ko makita... I hope this letter is more than enough... <kuripot mode>

Manita na sya ngayun...

Open Letter: To Joey Javier Reyes From An Emotionally-Disturbed MovieGoer

"Ang Batang Masipag..."

Dear, Mars Joey... (wow... feeling close agad agad)

To be straight... you owe me one big-ass of an ending... uhuh... I mean a really, really big one... like something that could suffice the hunger for closure to all the Long Distance Relationships na di nag work... (Binitin mo kasi ako ng bonggang-bongga)

If you don't get what I am saying (at well, dahil mabait ako at feel kong chumika ng mahaba haba today), here is a not-so-little background...

To start... SALE sa MOA nung last weekend... and mainly because my younger brother and I are helluva pseudo Sale-Hunters (in short kuripot... kung hindi naka-Sale ay hindi bibili)... we kinda jumped to the oppurtunity... duh...

The SALE itself was very disappointing and underwhelming... and mega-overrated... (sabi may 70% off... napagod lang ang hind legs ko sa kakaikot sa MOA... wala akong nakitang 70% off... kahit 69% wala...)... haist... kaya we decided to look for a movie to slay our time... (did I mention that I am meeting my college friends for a vocal lesson that night???... kaya we have more or less 5 hours to kill). And, we were quite surprised na puro indie films ang showing at P100 lang... And since, we our proud of our heritage and locality... we chose Sonata by Peque Gallaga (Ilonggo po kasi kami... from the Paris of Negros---Silay City)...

<Mars Joey, hold on ka lang dyan ha... medyo mahaba haba pa to..>

Sonata was relatively great and generally entertaining... (medyu disappointing lang ang acting ni Inday Cora, kailangan pa nyang mag acting lesson...Wahahahaha)... Cherie Gil was the bright spot of the whole film and the cinematography is superb...

<Mars, pagnakasalubong mo si Tiyo Peq2x (nickname niya) sa isang pa-event nyu sa club, paki slow clap at sabay sabi ng "BRAVO"... from his fave nephew kamo...>

(Guys, just watch the trailer below... Walang give away sa twist sa ending... though half-way through the film I sorta feel na it was coming...)


Fast-Forward... the next day... Monday... First working day of the week... Monday syndrome... gets???

I was feeling bored, intellectually exhausted and particularly lazy... when I decided to check the trailers of the other Indie Films that are still showing in MOA... and this particular movie trailer got my attention... it was very moving, relatable and indulging... (minsan talaga random words na lang ang pang describe ko... basa tunog maganda ok na...)... it is entiled: "Ano Ang Kulay Ng Mga Nakalimutang Pangarap???"

(oh di ba... title pa lang titillating na... pa mystserious... lol... basta watch nyu ang trailer... wait lang ... i-pa-paste ko)


To make the long story short, I ended up convincing my younger brother to watch the film with me...
<Idol kasi kita Mars... love na love ko ang KKK at SSS... char>...
<at eto na ang point ng sulat na toh... malalaman mo na rin sa wakas  kung ano ang utang mo sa akin... P* ka, bullet ko na lang para madali mong maintindihan, not that I am questioning your comprehension or anything at in tag-lish para mas espressive>

• S**t... alam ko color-blind ako pero ano yung kulay dun? Black and White ba??? 'di naman kasi explicitly sinabi... or given na at di ko lang na gets... nahiya naman kasi ako magtanong sa bebenteng tao kasama namin sa loob ng sinehan... baka ma-conclude nila na booboo ako... yung kapatid ko din kasi is colorblind... paki-sagot na lng po sa twitter ko... @itsstilljeffrey... gamit mo n lng tong hashtag para di ma lost in translation----> #YayaTereFTW

• P*c*... Anu yun??? Bitin ang ending??? Ganunan na lang ba??? Panoo pala kung may OCD ako at nagka-anxiety attack kapag 'di nagkakaroon ng closure... eh di nangisay ako sa sinehan... wala pa naman kaming baon na kutsara... 

• Anyare kay Yaya Tere??? Natigok? Naligaw? Na-Amnesia Girl? Hinanap ba siya o kinalimutan na? ODK... na bother talaga ako... makatingin naman kasi si Yaya sa last sequence sa may bus station, parang ako ang nakonsensya... patulo na ang luha ko eh... mga isang kembot na lang... mag bre-breakdown na ako tapos... black screen na... Wagas... Kaya Mars, update mo naman.ako... tell mo sa akin ang anyare... kung may video or power point presentation mas ok... para may visual impact...

• After Effect... Mars, di ako makatulog sa movie mo, mga two nights na... na damage na ata ako permanently... kelangan ko ng magpa-quack doctor... pero in SM Fairview sa'yo at sa buong cast and crew mo ha... maganda ang production... subtle lang si Yaya Tere pero effective, maka-emote naman kasi sa mga memory nya ay wagas... (oh well, di naman kasi ako acclaimed film critic so ''di naman weighted talaga ang mga sinasabi ko)... nakakalungkot lang talaga ang character... very giving at selfless... For sure, kung true story to, MMK ito at tatabo sa ratings... pero baka iba na ang title... hula ko baka "Baul" o "Ensaymada" or something like that... lol...

Hay... Mars... Since the movie was great and it hit something inside my core... "quits na tayu"...(wala ka ng balance...) Just keep on making Great movies like this... (para ''di laging masyadong commercial at mainstream...)

not-so-sure-if-I-am-a-fan

Jeff

"Paglaki... PAGOD"

Open Letter: From The Expecter To The Expectees

Hindi lahat ng nag-bi-Birthday Tumatanda...

Dear, You.

Yep... you read it right... this message is entirely and primarily intended for you... as long as you are reading this... this is for you (in tagalog... ang liham na to ay sinulat at inilathala para sa iyo lamang... basta't ito ay iyong binabasa... ito ay para sayo...)

Waahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... Boom... Boom... Clap... Clap... Clap

It's the time of the year again... when time freezes solid and spatial displacement momentarily does not matter... where nothing else is relevant and all are eyeing on just one thing... My Annually-Celebrated Date of Birth... (well... actually, more less mga 1 month pa... wahahahaha... excited much???.. ganyan talaga pag-artista... month long ang celebration may countdown pa...)

Can I have a big hurray for that??? <HURRAYYY>

Hep... hep... hep... Ok... I want to be very blunt and very direct this time... This letter's only sole purpose is to tell YOU that I am EXPECTING (all caps talaga... para may emphasis at emotion... lol)...

What am I expecting??? In case you do not know yet or you choose to be amnesiac about it... I have shortlisted it for the benefit of both parties...

1. GIFTS... gifts and more Gifts (with pressure 'to... as in really... shower me with material things that would make eyes pop... wahahahaha...
2. GREETINGS... whether it is written, verbal, non-verbal, telepathic, via social networking sites, televised or through divine intervention... I don't care... as long as the message is clear and heartfelt (eeeeee)...
3. CELEBRATION... I want to celebrate my day with a long relaxing and well-deserved vacation... I hope my project schedule would line up with my long overdue trip back to my hometown... Silay City... <cross fingers>
4. PARTY... PARTY... PARTY... I believe I have more that 2 sets of cliques and I expect atleast 2 Parties to commemorate my humane existence...

Actually, I have thought of making a list of earthly and tangible things I want to receive on my 26th year as a human being (tapos papa raffle ko sa mga friends ko...)... but, since I love surprises and being caught off guard... I'd rather not to... but still... I am Excpecting... (para clear lng...)

Now... that I have expressed what I wanted to... I do not want to hold you up any longer... You still have to find the perfect gift for me(di ba?)... go my minions and multiply... <evil laugh>


XXOO
Jeff

Minsan... Tumataba lang... yum yum yum

Open Letter: From Earth To Heaven

Di lahat ng Tatay may Nanay...

Hi, Pa'.

First of all, I want to greet you a Happy Father's Day. lol...

I hope and I force myself to believe that there's internet or some divine intermediate line on where you are at right now so that you can read this at your own time. (no pressure)

Maybe you are half-wondering why I am writing to you (of all times, ngayon pa...at in English pa... wahahaha). Well, to make it all even... I am also wondering too.

Just to set the records straight, we both know that our Family is no expressive bunch at any given chance. If my memory serves me right, I cannot remember the last time we said "I Love You's " to each other... We do not even hug nor kiss... the best we can do is to tap each other's back at honoring moments... But it doesn't mean that we don't love each other... I mean, you had your first hand proof that that we cling on each other's emotional truth in times of hard situations... wehehehehe... But, I guess maybe that's who we are as a unit... silent but present...

Like a glitch to a perfectly synced system... I can say that I am the most vocal member of our family... (kumbaga kung isa tayong acoustic-pop-alternative band... ehhhh, ako malamang sa malamang ang bokalista... ansaveh???) That's why I kinda felt obligated to update you on the recently-concluded and on-going events on our current lives after your... let's say... quite timely and emotionally well-prepared for departure...

Labergas Family Update... (in bullets para mukhang organized)

• To start, your youngest son already has your oldest grandson... and ironically, they tried to mash up your names and came up with Bien Martin (whatta lack-slacked monicker...). I have not met him yet... so I have not much to say... I only have high hopes for him and rest assured he will be guided accordingly as he grow older.

• RC already finished his college degree... not with flying colors though... (di naman tayo masyadong nag expect, di ba?)... Let's just see if he can find his place in the sun after college, but again... no matter what... he will not be left behind, not for anything that we can't handle.

• As for your already-father of a son, JJ... well, what can I say??? He is restarting his life (sana) after the recent turn of events that brought him momentous changes. Please lead him subconsciously to better maturity and being responsible enough for the family he has started prematurely...

• RR is still dark-skinned... nothing's change (di na kaya ng Glutha!) He's gearing up to complete his 5-year course in La Salle and plunge to the corporate world right ahead... I've heard it from the grapevine that he will shoulder JJ's tertiary education as soon as possible <cross-fingers>.

• Going to your well-accomplished sons... JB and Kuya RB are on a juncture of their respective professional lives... They are both taking a big plunge to a different company in the very near future... This could affect our family's financial status dramatically because, if it not yet established, it is very safe to say that they are the bread winners right now... non-arguable. We are also planning to have another Christmas Vacation later this year if everything falls to their proper places in due time...

• Mama is going to HongKong... (can I have hurray for that?!) I am pretty and I am sure that this would be her first travel outside of PAR (Philippines Area of Responsibility)...and to tell you, she is pretty and very much excited to the core... of course her trip is sponsored by her ever loving and financially-abled sons -Kuya RB for the roundtrip tickets and tour package, JB for the pocket money (tomoh??)... and to include myself- I did most of the leg-work to make her trip as smooth as possible...  Anyways, If you are still worried about her emotional status and stability... I believe she is doing great, even better than most of us... 

• Nothing is new with me... except with my virtually non-existent bank account and my questionable job qualifications... I am still the same person the last time we saw each other (eye-to-eye)... Got a little thinner (when I say little as in little talaga... mga 1 pound...wahahaha) but still the same me...          

Anyways... now that you are not physically around anymore, even though we are not earthly complete now- as a Family... we still know that you are watching over us and supporting us on each thing that we do... I know this letter is somewhat pointless but I do think that somehow somewhere you are able to read and comprehend this... (Kung nabasa mo man 'to, sign naman dyan... wahahahaha... kahit tatlong kulog at 3/4 na kidlat lang)... Seriously speaking, I guess the whole point of this letter is just to tell you that...
"I Miss You 'Pa"...

Jeff'

... minsan ay Tatay rin... :)

Musickness: "#Awkward Song"

Hashtag ka ng Hashtag...

Oh... Please do get me wrong here...

I love Mariah C. plus her alleged not-so-live-lip-syncing on AI12 last last week... and I adore her voice to the core... (although, I still believe that Regine V. can devour her alive on any "live" duet anytime, anywhere, any-song)... but her latest MV is killing me... it's supah awkward to watch from start to the end...

'Twas like watching some cheap impersonation of Mariah doing few semi-erotic gestures in a non-televised non-compensated show (off-the-road).

Ugggghhhh... She's to classy to this kinda stuff... leave the bitchy-slutty-bitchy things to Nicki M or Kesha (yun lng naman ang kaya nilang gawin na bumebenta... wooohahahaha)

Henyweys... just watch the MV yourselves... and if it crosses some imaginary line you set for yourself.... the nearest Comfort Room is at your right...


Aaaaannnndddddddd... the lyrics nor the music did not make up for anything it was lacking of... ugghhhhh

Wala ka namang Twitter... anu yun?? #LokohanLang

Eye Faucet: "What People Would Do"

"huhuhuhu..."

I really can't believe myself... I am such a cry baby...

Well... not all the time... but I usually get emotional to petty thing like this video...

I have already cried and wet my eyes last night while watching this and I did again at my half-a-bored office cubicle...

'Twas the last guy that that really made me cry... I know it was a set-up or something but it hit something in me that I can't help but sob...

I mean... what's wrong with my tear ducts???

I am a wuss... I admit... 'hope I am not the only one...

"la hoop"

Caption This: "Narcissistic Karma"

Sige nga, lets talk about TRUST...

If there is a way of life that I semi-follow it would be the rule of KARMA...

Don't get me wrong or anything... I am a pure blooded holy-water-bathed Christian (di yung super religious type... pero Christian pa rin in every sense of the word)... and not planning on shifting religion in the next four lifetimes... I know it is somewhat a Buddhism-thing but I really do believe in KARMA... (kung medyo religiously contradicting... pwede rin nating sabihin na naniniwala ako sa kasabihang " Kung ano ang itinanim, Siya ring aanihin.")

One way of me living the KARMA-life is by giving gifts... Wahahaha (Okay, you can relax those raised eyebrows now...) What can I do? This is me... I like gifts and surprises... I like giving gifts and seeing the receivers faces once they opened them... consequently- I like receiving gifts too and adrenaline rush of not knowing what am I having on that box (per se)... <insert laugh here> (Kaya alam na... sa lahat ng nabigyan ko ng gifts sa mga berdey nila... expecting ako ha... napakaagang babala na to ha... July pa ang berdey ko) <insert laugh here again>

Anyways, as an example... last Christmas I received an ample amount of gifts (e.g scented candles, motivational books, anklet-turned-bracelets, Sponge Bob boxers... etc) Ofcourse, all of these were unexpected- knowing my circle, we would fight for a 5 peso change for what it is worth... (ganyan kami ka kuripot) wahahahaha... So, the off-guarded me was not able to buy gifts for these pips... No time to spare and with semi-bruised pride, (syempre di nmn ako papayag na ako lng ang di nag bigay ng gift di ba.... ano ako poor???) I used my God-given wit and came up with a very very bright and smart idea... thus the birth of my first ever (maybe the last- sakit sa bulsa eh) Smize and Scratches Voucher...

Unfortunately, because of security purposes, I have already deleted the soft copy of my voucher... (baka kasi mag leak at malunod ako sa libre)... but that's ok... Just recently, four of my-so-called -office-friends availed their respective vouchers and as part of the deal, the vouchers should be given to me after with TRUTH and HONESTY...( wahahaha big word!) <see snapshots below>

CUTE, that's me... couldn't agree more

maka effort sa hand writing wagas... hmmmmmm

ano??? lakas maka emoticon ha... text lang teh

and the award for best in effort goes to...

I am sorry but I will not reveal their identities for their own sake and for the world's progress as well... (election pa naman ngayun... wahahahaha)...

Without even superficializing it... you can see how ecstatic I am... needless to say why...

I hope I can live up to your expectations... <insert rolf here>

KARMA thoughts: Nice Gifts will give you Nicer Feedbacks, in my case I can call it my Narcissistic Karma.

(Sa mga di pa nag aavail... malayo pa ang deadline... sana di kayo umabot... ansaya ko lng)

Anong TRUST??? Yung Condom???
Big WORD... Big BIRD... 

Graham101: "HO-EM-GEEEE... I Am Feeling it Again"

Ikaw unang nag text 'tas di ka magrereply....

Hep hep hep....

Before your mind goes to an overdrive and assumes something intangible, I wanna stop you right there and correct your moss-filled brain for a second...

Uhuh... This is not something romanticky or stuffs the likes... (kahit kakabasa ko lang ng "Para sa Mga Hopeless Romantic ni Marcelo Cantos sa third...) what I am feeling right now is far from those hearty hearts thingy ... fortunately or unfortunately speaking... huhuhuhu

Now; as in this very monument, as in as of this writing, as in while I am sitting on my lack-luster, semi-rotating chair at a quarter of a cube in our mostly blue-and-white hospital-ish office where I am suppose to bitch my brain out to make a presentation that is due at the end of the week; I am feeling light-headed, dizzy, and almost nauseous... in short I am virtually, literally and ironically TECHNICALLY PUKING!!! In case you did not get that, in a less versed term, my body is involuntarily choking itself into negating more technical information to come in my system...

Last time I felt this was with my first legit job as a Technical Representative over the Phone (pinahaba ko lng ang Call Center... waahahaha)... and we all know how it ended...

I don't want to get ahead of my self or anything but does this mean something??? Is this a sign??? Am I taking the same road again??? Is this it, really is it??? Well, I guess only I can answer these question... with a little help from my undermined friends and loved ones... wahahahaha (maybe I need to personally talk with my Mama and apersonally ask guidance from my Papa...)...hmmmmm

Nevertheless, I have to finish this technical thing I am doing... minding the sick moths in my stomach every F***-ing mnute... atleast until I still do not have a concrete answer yet...

YOU DON'T DO THAT TO ME...

Graham 101: Resurrections and Resolutions

"Ang PACENSYA ko di basta bastang nauubos..."

PRE SCRIPT:
I know... I know...

I have been lost and MIA for more than a quarter of a year and you have not heard from me since time immemorial...

Maybe consciously or unconsciously, I put my bloggerself in a semi-hiatus-slash-hibernation so that I can whole-fully deal with my personal and appersonal luggages that has been haunting my very core to the extremes... no details will be provided further

This page suppose to be my own pandora's box of happy memoirs... exclusively.... thus, as much as possible  I seldom write tear-jerker posts that might jeopardize my future self's happiness while he is re-reading this maybe 10 years from now... "Touche, right???"

Henyways and byways... as this post's titles says... This would be my underpaved pheonix-cky resurrection and my first ever documented new year's resolution as I start to journey my way to 2013...

SCRIPT:
Boom... bang... pak... awwww

Metaphorically and generally-not speaking, I always took new year's resolution for granted like a poorly dressed skinny lady wallflowering herself on a PROM night... listed but not really appreciated...

So, this year I want it to be different... That is why I am posting this online to serve as a reminder to myself and also to ask help from my listless friends and loved ones to help me abide through my list...

Ready... Set... Go...

1. Thrift it up
2. Watch thy what I eat
3. Sweat not Sweet
4. Explore and Exploit
5. Channel my excess Creativity
6. Be Friendlier
7. Perform a Secret Task
8. Write right
9. Extra Work = Extra Cash
10. Happy and Yappy

I would not explain my resolutions one by one... coz I don't want to bore you with the dauntlessness and multitude of my thoughts .. Just read between the lines against the silver lining...

Ciao...

"Pero ang PERA ko konting konti na lang"